i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
