Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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