ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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