guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize