So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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