also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
