I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
