Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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