Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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