hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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