i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize