Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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