Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
