I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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