So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
