suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
