Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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