I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
