we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
