Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
