I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
