and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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