In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize