Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize