I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
