I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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