You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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