I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
