He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
we should paint friendship bongs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
