I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
