ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
