there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
