You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
