Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Randomize
