its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
