Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
