Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with

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(402): View more from Nebraska

yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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(410): View more from Maryland

you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma

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(518): View more from New York

i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least

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(810): View more from Michigan

is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid

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