you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
