So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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