Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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