if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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