Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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