maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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