Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize