She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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