He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
