dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
