i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize