I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
