It's Friday. Sex?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
