Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
