Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
