My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
