They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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