you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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