I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
