So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
