3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
