he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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