ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
