You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
