i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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