Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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