I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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