Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
