if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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