whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
