Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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