We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize