I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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